The Scariest Creature on Earth Is . . . .

A duck. Tice does not mind goats, Lucky just finds them a bit odd, but apparently a quacking duck is the weirdest thing in the history of things. The duck was being taken from the horse trailer, where he spends the night out of reach of things which like to eat ducks, and got away from me. Dad and I took up the duck chase and finally cornered him against the tall grass below the corral fence. Tice and Lucky stopped everything and approached so close together I think their shoulders were touching. If horses could talk, I suspect they would have been saying:

“What is THAT?”
“I don’t know. What’s that noise? It’s making noise.”
[Duck: SQUAWK FLAP I PROTEST THIS INDIGINTY]
“It’s WHITE. What sort of things are white?”
“Cats?”
“Cats don’t flap. And they say meow, not quack.”
“Well, what is it then? It’s on the ground and it’s not on a leash, it must be a cat. What is it if it’s not a cat?”
“Why don’t you go find out?”
“You’re the fancy stakes placed one who’s seen everything, Mr. ‘Oh It’s Just a Goat, You’re Such a Sissy.'”
“You’re from Florida. They have weird animals in Florida. Is it a flamingo? You know how to deal with flamingos.”
“I never raced a Hialeah. I’m not that old. We’re the same age.”
“You’re the February foal. You’re older. You go.”
“I’m old enough to know better. If you’re so young and spry, you go.”
[DUCK: I DO NOT WANT TO BE CARRIED. THIS IS NOT FAIR. THE MALLARDS AREN’T CARRIED AROUND. (“The mallards are wild ducks. They don’t live here.”) I STRENUOUSLY OBJECT TO THIS MANHANDLING. IS THAT A NET?]
“THEY’RE BRINGING IT THIS WAY!”
“Maybe it’s an alligator. They don’t have alligators in California. Is that an alligator?”
“I’m not talking to you.”

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