The Scariest Creature on Earth Is . . . .

A duck. Tice does not mind goats, Lucky just finds them a bit odd, but apparently a quacking duck is the weirdest thing in the history of things. The duck was being taken from the horse trailer, where he spends the night out of reach of things which like to eat ducks, and got away from me. Dad and I took up the duck chase and finally cornered him against the tall grass below the corral fence. Tice and Lucky stopped everything and approached so close together I think their shoulders were touching. If horses could talk, I suspect they would have been saying:

“What is THAT?”
“I don’t know. What’s that noise? It’s making noise.”
[Duck: SQUAWK FLAP I PROTEST THIS INDIGINTY]
“It’s WHITE. What sort of things are white?”
“Cats?”
“Cats don’t flap. And they say meow, not quack.”
“Well, what is it then? It’s on the ground and it’s not on a leash, it must be a cat. What is it if it’s not a cat?”
“Why don’t you go find out?”
“You’re the fancy stakes placed one who’s seen everything, Mr. ‘Oh It’s Just a Goat, You’re Such a Sissy.’”
“You’re from Florida. They have weird animals in Florida. Is it a flamingo? You know how to deal with flamingos.”
“I never raced a Hialeah. I’m not that old. We’re the same age.”
“You’re the February foal. You’re older. You go.”
“I’m old enough to know better. If you’re so young and spry, you go.”
[DUCK: I DO NOT WANT TO BE CARRIED. THIS IS NOT FAIR. THE MALLARDS AREN'T CARRIED AROUND. ("The mallards are wild ducks. They don't live here.") I STRENUOUSLY OBJECT TO THIS MANHANDLING. IS THAT A NET?]
“THEY’RE BRINGING IT THIS WAY!”
“Maybe it’s an alligator. They don’t have alligators in California. Is that an alligator?”
“I’m not talking to you.”

Pupdate!

Dogs got a FIELD TRIP!  But first, the terrifying hyper scared OTTBs:

 

See how activity like having a crane parked in their gate terrifies them!

See how activity like having a crane parked in their gate terrifies them!

Can't you see how terrified of the new thing they are?

Can’t you see how terrified of the new thing they are?

Ooh, we're going on a field trip!

Ooh, we’re going on a field trip!

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What is this place?

What is this place?

This is looking north towards South Haven, Grand Haven (and ultimate Traverse City, but that's a few hundred miles.  Theoretically walkable, but...)

This is looking north towards South Haven, Grand Haven (and ultimate Traverse City, but that’s a few hundred miles. Theoretically walkable, but…)

Doggy twister!

Doggy twister!

 

IMG_1032

IMG_1019

"I can drink the whole thing..."

“I can drink the whole thing…”

The face of an almost-fifteen-year-old dog seeing the Big Sea Water for the first time.  (Okay, yes, technically Longfellow meant Gitchigumi, which is specifically Lake Superior, and this is Lake Michigan, but all the same freshwater system, right?)

The face of an almost-fifteen-year-old dog seeing the Big Sea Water for the first time. (Okay, yes, technically Longfellow meant Gitchigumi, which is specifically Lake Superior, and this is Lake Michigan, but all the same freshwater system, right?)

Finally, a duck in the bathroom.  Unfortunately, my neighbor's dog got into the duck pen, leaving only one duck.  However, as he/she/whatever seems to have dodged a bullet, he does now have a name...Dodger.

Finally, a duck in the bathroom. Unfortunately, my neighbor’s dog got into the duck pen, leaving only one duck. However, as he/she/whatever seems to have dodged a bullet, he does now have a name…Dodger.

 

Remember Steamgoat?

The Author:

Another year at the County Fair…and the ducks still need names.

Originally posted on Steampunk Sweethearts:

This year Steampunk Sweethearts is again a buyer at the Cass County Fair, and this time, it’s SteamDucks.  (Who are going to fare much better than the roaster chickens and turkey.  Those were picked up by the processor this morning and have a date with the freezer.  I remind myself that Cornish X Rocks and Broad-breasted Whites have very short lifespans in any case while Pekins are more adaptable.)

Post-auction in the poultry barn.

Post-auction in the poultry barn.  They have no idea what’s coming….

The turkey sign.  I feel almost as bad as I did when I realized I was walking through the sheep barn eating a lamb gyros.

The turkey sign. I feel almost as bad as I did when I realized I was walking through the sheep barn eating a lamb gyros.

One stressful ride in cat carriers and a car later, we arrive at the new duck pen.

One stressful ride in cat carriers and a car later, we arrive at the new duck pen.

Tucker stars in "The Dogs Who Stare at Ducks", the sequel to her smash hit from last summer, "The Corgis Who Stare at Goats."

Tucker stars in “The Dogs Who Stare at Ducks”, the sequel to her smash hit from last summer, “The Corgis Who Stare at Goats.”

Black Magic cupcakes with all-natural raspberry butter frosting (the flavor and color are entirely the result of fresh raspberry reduction) drizzled with bittersweet chocolate.    Blue ribbon for cupcakes--three years' running cupcake DOMINANCE! Black Magic cupcakes with…

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Another Day At The Farm

Puff has a nap.  Waiting for me to finish cleaning the barn is boring.

Puff has a nap. Waiting for me to finish cleaning the barn is boring.

The mighty black panther stalks the yard.

The mighty black panther stalks the yard.

It's a hole, it's a hole it's a hole oh boy oh boy it's a hole...

It’s a hole, it’s a hole it’s a hole oh boy oh boy it’s a hole…

Where to next?

Where to next?


It's a hole.

It’s a hole.

IT'S A HOLE.

IT’S A HOLE.

OMYGOD MOST INTERESTING HOLE EVER.

OMYGOD MOST INTERESTING HOLE EVER.

It's a cave!

It’s a cave!

Nope, just another hole.

Nope, just another hole.

Grazing without a shower for a change.  (Yes, the dark on the ground is divots of dirt from the wet ground being chewed up.)  Look at that shiny copper penny coat.

Grazing without a shower for a change. (Yes, the dark on the ground is divots of dirt from the wet ground being chewed up.) Look at that shiny copper penny coat.

Lucky's new haircut.  Shows off his neck.

Lucky’s new haircut. Shows off his neck.

Guess who had a walk around in a circle with a saddle on his back? Yep, Tice, that’s who. He appears to need a 48 girth, which is mostly what I wanted to know. He behaved quite well putting it on (a Crosby PDN with a foam riser and fleece pad), actually, and walking a quick circuit outside with just a chain lead and halter, but decided to try fussing in the cross ties. Backing up until we decided to stand seems to work, though. Lucky may get some exercise later–Mr. R’s son, who’s been helping clean the barn when I’m not here (Mr. R started doing it while Dad was in the hospital) has a half-day and might be able to come and try riding. For all the stuff he’s shoveled, he’s earned it. If they can’t come today, I may just tool around a bit. The ground’s still soft so nothing exciting. Any time the rain wants to give it up would be fine with me.

It Must Be National Be Nice To Owners Week

And I missed the memo. First nanny goat, who normally is more or less indifferent to me provided the food keeps coming, wanted me to stand scritching between her horns all night. Today after dinner at the barn last check instead of scarfing the new hay I put in, Tice wanted me to stand there and scratch his face and play with him and generally pay him attention. This resulted in only two attempts to bite which I don’t think were mean-spirited. Lucky, meanwhile, stuffed his face. He’ll regret it when, weather permitting, he has to work tomorrow.

Meanwhile, this is what Tucker looks like when Mom and Dad go out (when I go out, she doesn’t care.):

Sad Corgi is sad.

Sad Corgi is sad.

If they loved me, they would take me with them, and leave these other dogs here.  I'm not a dog.  I'm a people.

If they loved me, they would take me with them, and leave these other dogs here. I’m not a dog. I’m a people.

Back to reading “Seabiscuit.” I should be using my time more productively, but oh, well.

Ugh. Shedding Season.

I think I have more hair on me than they have left on them. Also, Lucky got a haircut. He’s too embarrassed for pictures. But I cut about eight inches of matted mane off, and I mean all the way to the roots off. He’s going to thank me when it’s hot out. They both start SmartBugOff today, have a super killer new fly spray, and Dad’s putting out the fly predators and fly strips. The bugs will be defeated, but at this rate they’ll finish shedding just in time to grow in their winter coats

What is this green stuff which grows on the ground?!?

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Yes, it’s going to be a fuzzy, fuzzy week as all the fluff comes off, but yes, there is GROUND!  With GRASS!  And yes, we may finally have fed Tice enough that he is not skinny.  (He still is a bottomless pit, though.  U-gard and SmartCalm Ultra have not taken the edge off an appetite that makes Cookie Monster look abstemious.)

Also, Lucky and Tice wish to congratulate their mutual “cousin” CALIFORNIA CHROME on his dominating victory in the Kentucky Derby.  (Tice is related via A.P. Indy, sire of Pulpit and Tice, while both Lucky and Chrome have Olympia in their fifth generations, in Chrome’s case through Lucky Pulpit’s dam.  Though Lucky, being triple linebred, shows a lot more of that sprinter style.)

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